Q. I am currently unemployed, but my husband still has a good job. However, our bills are really high. We have nine kids to care for and we're supporting my sister-in-law, who cares for my father-in-law. We've fallen six months behind on our mortgage, and I've applied for a loan modification with my bank. But the payment it offered is still twice what we can afford. I don't know if the bank will agree to accept a lower monthly payment or if it will eventually foreclose, and I need to arrange for a place to move to. I don't know what to do.

A. The best you can hope for in a modification is to have your monthly mortgage payments reduced to about 31% of your gross income.

That, for example, is the goal for all mortgage modifications under President Obama's Making Home Affordable program.

The biggest reason borrowers are turned down for such help is that they simply don't make enough to pay off the huge debt they've taken on, even if the interest rate is lowered and the term of the loan is extended.

That could be your problem, especially since you're not working and your family income is substantially reduced.

Why don't you seek the help of a reputable credit counselor?

We recommend members of the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, the nation's biggest and oldest credit-counseling organization.

Its 120 member agencies abide by a set of professional and ethical standards that have served many individuals and families well for the past 50 years.

The fees are modest, and an NFCC counselor can look at your finances much like your lender and tell whether your lender is offering the best modification deal you can expect to get.

Here's where to find a credit counselor in your area.

If you and your lender can't come to an agreement, the counseling agency also will help you transition into a new living situation by letting you know what the process will entail, when you'll need to move and more.

We hope it doesn't come down to that, but our story on how to make a graceful exit can help you make a fresh start after a foreclosure.